File Under "So Gay"

Dear Drew,

Kylie's Body Language is number 6 in the charts

Her other albums peaked at:

Kylie (88) 1
Enjoy yourself (89) 1
Rhythm of love (90) 9
lets get to it (91) 16
greatest hits (92) 1
Kylie minogue (94) 4
kylie minogue/impossible princess (98) 10
light years (00) 2
fever (01) 1

In other words - Not good!

Love, Will


Dear Will,

In defence of Kylie...

- She still had a number one single - something that was (although not to everyone's liking) slightly original, especially when you look at the competition (I mean, bless Busted but they're a poor man's Wheatus). In the publics eye a number one single is extremely important and in some ways more so than Album sales.

- It was impossible to rival the success of the pop phenomenon that was Can't Get You Out of My Head. I thought that Kylie's new single would fare much worse in comparison.

- She has also managed to launch (reinvention à la la la Madge) a new fashion style with this album (which undoubtedly earns her more money than album sales). Therefore as a PR exercise for "Kylie the brand", Body Language has been highly successful. The girl will be selling a lot of knickers/calendars/newspapers.

- She has jumped on the 80's bandwagon but not in a Holly Valence "desperate to be cool" kinda way.

- Many people will be waiting for the second single before buying the album, not completely convinced by Slow. If she can launch a fun upbeat number (Both you and Joe say there's at least one on the album) we could see Body Language sales stay in the top twenty for a long time.

- This album has already gained her respect from the biz because it's seemed as a brave move musically. It's not pandering to anyone; as Joe said "it's a grower".

- At least she didn't do a duet with Sting, Elton or (shudder) Madge.

x Drew


Dearest Drew,

1) Having a number one single does have more prestige, sure. But singles don't make money. CGYOUFH sold 300,000 in it's first week. Slow did 25,000 and made it to the top because of a very quiet week. In addition, the importance of having a No 1 is being undermined by those low sales in that anyone can have a N0 1 these days. Westlife have had 12 - name any of them? Anyone? Anywhere? Exactly.

2) The Kylie brand might do well out of it, but none of that will benefit Parlophone, who spent a fortune on promoting the album. That show cost a million to stage alone. So Kylie will always do well from Love Kylie and all the rest but if the sales don't happen, she'll dropped (nb she's been dropped twice before, from PWL and Deconstruction). Parlophone promoted Light Years heavily for a year and that didn't make them a penny.

3) The other possible choices for the next single are not really any more commercial than Slow - singles sell albums, so a long-selling album will not be on the cards this time. I predict it will be out of the Top 20 in two weeks time and it's hard to recover from that. Xmas market is kicking in already and it's Greatest Hits time (no explaining Tori Amos though).

4) BL did 35,000 last week - c/f 400,000 for Dido and 200,000 for Kylie's last album. Whatever way you look at it, only one Kylie album has opened lower in 12 years - and that launched with Some Kind of Bliss, a No 22 single. Established artists' albums very rarely pick up in time, especially not when they've had blanket exposure for the last month.

5) Kylie might not have duetted with any of those people, no - but she duetted with Kermit the fucking frog last year!!! That in itself is enough to banish her from the charts for life.

I rest my case, you gay boy Kylie lover!


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