Nothing even mildly amusing happened during my interview. I guess that’s when I realised that I didn’t really want it. It didn’t help that they weren’t offering much more in the way of money than I’m on now. They want to see me again for a follow up interview but I don’t see the point. There was no chemistry, nothing to say “this is a way forward”. It was a boring job in a boring office for very little money and I’ve already got one of those thank you very much.
When I returned to Boring Office #1 my boss sidled up.
“Shall we have a chat?” he asked. He looked nervous.
“Sure” I said, trying to summon up some enthusiasm, any.
“It’s been brought to my attention that you’re in some financial difficulty”
Hey, hey, hey! I’m careful with my money mister. You’re the one who expects me to work for less than a waiter earns – before tips - in one of the most expensive cities on the planet. Let’s just get the facts straight.
“I don’t think that’s the issue here,” I straighten my tie, “When I came here I knew how much I was going to earn and I qualified the loss in income with the skills I was about to be privy to.”
Nice. Confuse him with words like privy. That’s it.
“Are you happy here Andrew? You seem to spend all your time wearing headphones. Sometimes you look miserable.”
My smile widens so that I imagine my face is about to invert.
“It’s just the way I am,” I lie.
“I get the work done. I’m meticulous but when it’s time to go, I go. I may not look like I’m enjoying it here but I am. It’s just my way.”
We get on to money again. He tells me my work cannot be faulted. It would be a shame to see me go. They want to keep me. I win.
“I’ll see what I can do, tell you by Friday.”
When I sit down at my desk I remember it’s not really about the money at all. As I watch my icons appear one by one on the screen I realise that I wanted to scream “you don’t know how lucky you are to have me here, to have had me for 6 months, for so much of my precious young life in an office that smells of stale coffee and mould when I should be running barefoot over moss covered rocks and drinking water so cold it hurts my throat!” - But I don’t of course. No one ever says what they really feel.