While reading The Face
last night in the bath I stumbled (or should that be slipped?) upon Belle’s blog in the what’s hot
list? Man, she’s so cool – I mean, it’s The Face
I like to think of Belle as my trendy, older sister. Everyone knows and loves her and all the boys want to date her. “Oh Belle’s your sister, you must be so proud. Isn’t she doing well?” people ask on the street when I’m riding my BMX.
And I knew the lines of reality were beginning to blur when Will suggested a while back that we invite her over for tea (afterwards he pretended he was joking but I think he meant it).
Now, I know there’s debate going on about whether Belle is really a call girl or is in fact a young british writer. And I’m not interested in it. Nosireebob. She can be an overweight gypsy living in a caravan on the M20 for all I care - as long as she keeps writing her sweet, sweet blog. What’s really upsetting to me, however, is that no-one is debating mine with the same, or in fact any, vigour. I think it’s only fair that someone starts a rumour about NEDITW, something along the lines that what you’re reading now is actually
written by, say… Barbera Cartland. No, she’s dead. Martin Amis, then. Yes, that’s it. And I’m his gay alter ego.
Or maybe I am…