My gums bleed.
Sometimes I fantasise that my Dad buys me a cake and gives me a big hug.
I never really knew my ex-partner. I thought I did, but now I’m almost certain I was wrong.
I wish all the people would stop looking. And as soon as they do I’m sure I’ll miss them.
Something in my head tells me to be courageous. But there’s another voice there too. And it’s getting louder.
I’m only 21 but I think I’m damaged.
I have fallen in love with every person I have ever kissed. I’m not just talking a schoolboy crush here. Sometimes I lie awake all night and think of the softness of their lips and the bitter taste of their breath.
I couldn’t care less about the elderly.
I don’t think we should be allowed to adopt. We’re too immature. We’re children ourselves.
Happiness? I was happy once; it was just before George died. I knew I’d never see him again but I realised how much he’d given me in my life.
That’s not really my boyfriend. He’s straight. But he’s so good looking I can’t help lying to people.
The long and the short of it is that my feelings have changed. And until I find out what they are, I can’t be with you.
I can tell if a person is a cat person or a dog person immediately, but I’ve never bought a pair of trousers that doesn’t make my ass look like two pillowcases stuffed with flour.
The other day at a Chinese restaurant, a woman was looking at me so fiercely that I wanted to kiss her and bite her lips.
No one really asks me what’s going on in my life, because I’m too busy making everyone laugh.
My sister just came out and now I wish I’d beaten her to it.
If I had a penny for every cute barman in the world, I’d be a very drunk man.
I take days off and sit by the ocean.
I’m always embarrassed that I’ve never been to a country where they don’t speak English.
Johnny used to bring me a cup of coffee in the morning and on weekends he’d go out and buy hot rolls and jam and a newspaper. I was eating one of those bread rolls when he told me about his lover.
I hope you never make it big.
I think one of the worst things you can do to a person is bore them.
When I was a child I imagined that I’d grow up and have a wife, house and kids. I have all that now, but I wish someone had come up to me and said – if you fancy men, sleep with men. Don’t worry about the consequences.
I kill things; plants, ants, worms.
I can’t remember the last time I was really turned on. I think it was June.
My first lover used to like to take me out for dinner. He used to enjoy making the waiters cry and seeing the look on my face.
There are hardly any people that I’ll really miss.
I was a Joan of Arc type in a former life. They said so on one of those tarot phone-in lines. You should try it.