Talk is good. Talk is cheap.
“I just don't get it...we have a situation at the moment where young soldiers have been sent over by a political agenda to Iraq and have murdered and abused civilians for things that American media and politicians now have the audacity to apologize for and admit that they were wrong - WRONG - I mean children have been subjected to war and death for nothing? American soldiers have died for a falsity? The stability of the Middle East has been shafted for another 50 years - for what? Is it just me? And what do you write about? About gay love scenes being toned down in a movie? So what? Would that in some way affirm you being gay as being right or something? I mean are you awake in this world Drew?
Are you fucking living in the same world? How do you eat? How your conscience doesn't constrict your throat and allow you to swallow down just shows how distant you are from being a human being. A human being FEELS when the spirit of humanity is going down the shit hole.
Is Drew awake in the world?”
This morning someone jumped in front of the train I was on. It happened at Bank station and, as we waited, the word suicide
was never mentioned. The announcement explained that it had been a ‘passenger action’; that ‘someone was on the tracks’ as if the person had tripped over the platform, picked themselves up and wiped the dirt off their knees self-consciously – instead of throwing themselves in front of the speeding train, feeling the impact with the last few seconds of their consciousness before the momentum dragged them down underneath the carriage, electrocuting them on the tracks.
Everyone was pissed off because we would be late for work and we had to stand in each other’s armpits waiting for the police to arrive. “This always happens to me” said a man, under his breath.
Thanks for your letter. I think we’re on the same page, you and me. Neither of us is very happy about this goddamn awful war. It scares me to think of all the hate and fear that is being bred for my nephew’s generation, all because of a few high-powered individuals. War is never moral, but when those who come to ‘emancipate’ then become the oppressors there is something deeply and profoundly wrong. This affects us all. And we should be affected – as you’ve said - these actions violate our humanity. I read and see things every day, from the suicide this morning to the relentless persecution of Laos’ Hmong hill tribes and the images of torture on TV. These things should not be trivialized. If they do, we risk losing who we are as people.
Our stories make our humanity. My manifesto with this journal was to tell my story. If you’re calling me to account for the banality of my writing, I can’t. Sometimes my life is banal. If you’re criticizing me for not sharing my views on the war, I would invite you to read the thousands of blogs that have discussed these issues with more clarity and perception than I ever could. If you’re calling me apathetic, you don’t know me. And if you’re trying to railroad the atrocities of this war to make some half-baked anti-gay rhetoric, then you are a shmuck. And it makes me want to kick you in the shin. Really hard.
You ask if I’m awake. I am. I’m in the only world I know. And I’m trying to make sense of it the best I can.