I haven’t been completely honest with you.
I’ve only just met you and everything I’ve said has been lies.
When I told you I was “good” it was a bit of a generalization. Although physically I’m feeling much better (ingrown toe-nail and yes, it is that painful) I’ve had a hard time reconciling my feelings for my ex-girlfriend. You see, I’m not sure I ever really got to know her. We dated six or seven times and to begin with it seemed like we really clicked. We had so much in common; we could talk for hours. But on our third date there was a two minute silence while we waited for the cheque. As a result I invited a friend along on the next date, which was lucky considering she hardly said a word the entire night. The next time I booked a romantic dinner for five. She barely looked at me.
She only nodded when I told her we had to stop seeing each other.
Then the other day I see her at this fancy bar and she’s chatting animatedly to a handsome chap in a dark green suit. I was about to go up to her and say how much I missed our conversations but the man in the suit escorted my ex-girlfriend to his Mercedes before I even had the chance to finish my cigarette or drink the last of the martini.
Also, when you asked me what I wanted, I only pretended I didn’t know yet.
You remind me of a kid I went to college with, you see. Handsome guy; successful with the ladies. The sort of man who doesn’t quite know what he has. They say he moved away and started up his own business laying tiles on old ladies’ floors. A good living. One day he’s on all fours, placing tiles, when this old woman’s retriever comes up behind him and starts humping him. He doesn’t want to harm the dog so he just lays there until it’s done. Nonetheless, the old woman sees the whole thing and is so outraged that she makes sure he never works another day. In my opinion he should have struck out and hit the dog over the side of the head; that it was his “respect for life” that finished him. I saw that quality in you the moment I walked in here.
I’m not really heading home for the holidays.
My Mother doesn’t want to see my anymore. Says we’re through. She watched something on the Nature Programme about how baby whales leave their parent’s after two years.
And I don’t really want fries with my meal. I just said that to be nice.