This much I know
Each person in the world is someone’s ultimate fantasy. Realizing that we fall in love because
of our foibles would make the world a happier place. Or at least everyone would get laid a lot more.
I’m never going to be a morning person. The only concept I can fully appreciate before 11am is “snooze”.
Calling someone “arrogant” is lazy shorthand for “I’m threatened by you”. And the people who are genuinely arrogant are nearly always insecure as fuck.
It’s only as my three sisters’ get older that I have any idea of who my Mother was.
I expect a lot from my friends. They must be funny and serious, caring and independent, ambitious and content. They don’t get days off and the pays terrible. Sometimes I wonder why they put themselves through all the hassle.
The closer you come to mastering your reality, the greater responsibility you have to guide others towards understanding theirs. I can pinpoint the moments when I’ve been helped.
I’ll always be envious of those men whose only body hair is a trail starting from the belly button and running down to their groin. Envious and a little turned on.
I hold out that one day I’ll learn ballet, to fence, play the piano and speak French fluently.
I don’t take kindly to hypocrisy. If I wasn’t so industrious I would probably be very anti-establishment.
On my tenth birthday we discovered a wheelchair in the river and created a human chain of plucky ten year-olds to rescue it. The hospital came and collected it the same day. We never found out how it got there but that didn’t stop us from feeling like heroes.
I’m always going to be a little bit of an outsider. I’m pretty sure it is a self fulfilling prophecy to make certain that I always feel special.
A shared history can be more powerful than a blood tie.
I’m very scared of death even though I try not to be. I have a grudging awareness that I may spend my whole life accepting this fear.
New Zealanders are some of the most open minded people in the world. We’re kind of like the Dutch, except we have mountains and much more pot.
Always keep someone around who will point out the poppy seeds between your teeth, but will lie in cold blood when you have a bad hair day.
The 90’s seemed a bit of a disappointment at the time. Grunge was a poor cousin to punk and disco and rock ‘n roll. Funny how the decade seems utopian now.
One of my biggest regrets is losing my cat, Marmalade. We moved house and she was unsettled and ran away. I still get a pang in my heart whenever I think of her.
To this day I can’t understand how a handful of school subjects are supposed to help you decide what you want to be for the rest of your life.
Gay bars scare me every time. It’s like I’m fifteen again and I’m hoping my three days growth of stubble will get me past the bouncer.
I feel sorry for people who live in North London if only because they don’t get to cross the Thames in the wee hours of the morning.
Kids aren’t always cruel. There was a boy in my class called Michael Burlace who had crutches and at lunchtimes we used to play Dark Crystal
so that he could be a landstrider. Man, we all wished we could be landstriders.