11/03/2004
 
[One more thing and then I'll never mention them again...]

So "that show" is on tonight and my Mother cannot stop talking about how wonderful they are, how kind they are to these clueless straight men. She’s always loved the show but tonight I think we can definitely factor in Carson's shoe compliment.

Ma: Look at that Kyan. He's so gorgeous.*

Me: Yeah, he's OK. He's a bit clean cut. I prefer them a bit more rugged. He doesn't look like he's capable of sweating.

Ma: Oh, he's lovely. Straight men are never that clean. I think you look a bit like Kyan. A bit like Thom too.

Pause.

No you're right. Kyan's legs are too thin.

Pause.

I like Carson's jacket. Leather.

Me: It's too Miami Vice. Just need to roll up the sleeves.

Pause.

You’d get into Communism if Carson said it was slimming.

Fini.

* My Mother does not have a Brooklyn accent. For some reason whenever I tell stories about her she ends up sounding like a Jewish housewife. She actually has a British accent with a slight elongation on some vowels due to the years spent in New Zealand.
 

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