It can be confusing living in two different countries. My wardrobe, for example. The cheap H & M tees I buy in London I can wear with pride in Wellington because no one knows where I bought them from. Vice versa, the generic shirts I buy here will look exotic back in the UK. I just have to remember which t-shirt to wear where. Here’s some other comparisons I’ve noticed...
NZ: thick wheels of sushi (tofu), apples so juicy the juice runs down your arm, jalapeño corn chips, bread which doesn’t go stale the moment you buy it, toffee pops. The crisps are too salty, the baked beans are too sweet, however.
The UK: filled sandwiches at Tesco’s, cheap curries, French wine, tubs of coleslaw for under fifty pence, Swiss chocolate, jaffa cakes. The canned beetroot is too salty, on the other hand.
NZ: boy racers, skaters, goths, hippies, surf boys and girls, hip hop, drum and base, house (techno), underage drinking, P (crystal meth), Rinse (GHB), legal herbal pills, loads of Mary Jane, boredom, teenage pregnancy, binge drinking.
The UK: lad culture, ladettes, skin heads, pikes, Essex girls, thugs, random acts of violence, coke, pills (ecstasy), speed, hash, binge drinking, girls who swear and chew gum, pissing on the side of the road, football, more football, even more football, weird football chants, beating up people because of football.
NZ: go to the beach or the bach (holiday home) where you burn your own sausages.
UK: spend thirteen hours at Heathrow and eventually board a plane to Majorca only to spend three days with a quarter of a million other vacationing Brits.
NZ: So far left it’s practically wearing sandals. The Labour government is currently enjoying unprecedented popularity after many a term in power. Even so, the lefties are not complacent. On New Years’ Eve I was handed a condom which read “Don’t let National (the opposition) screw you.”
UK: So centre-left it’s practically wearing brogues and a pin striped suit.
NZ: To make enough money to retire early, buy a bach and grow fat.
UK: To get on the property ladder.