The audition was a non-event in that I was professional, did just what they asked of me and was out the door again in under five minutes.

In case you have never auditioned for an advert before, this is typical:

Auditionee walks into room with air of confidence and “energy” indicating their onscreen presence and x factor.
Casting Director (wearing “business smile”) asks how Auditionee #327 is doing today.
Auditionee #327 responds in a light hearted, breezy manner to show they are NOT desperate to snag the advert and so pay their rent this month.
Auditionee #327 stands in front of wall, practicing relaxation technique to stop any tension in shoulders, as Casting Director fiddles with camera.
Casting Director (Turning camera to RECORD): And how are we today?
Auditionee #327 (beaming): Very well thank you!
Casting Director: Are you available for shooting on (gives dates).
Auditionee #327 (emphatic): Yes I am!
Casting Director: Are you in any commercials on air currently?
Auditionee #327 (takes time to consider this, giving the impression to the Casting Director and the camera that Auditionee #327 has been in literally hundreds of commercials): Um, no.
Casting Director: And profile please. (Auditionee #327 sucks in stomach, brings chin towards chest, flexes arms) And other side. Thank you. (Everything is relaxed).
Casting Director runs through the scene giving such helpful advice as “try not to look directly at the camera”. Scene is played out. Afterwards notes are given (“I want less eye acting, but a bit more face acting. Really feel it this time.”) and the process is repeated.
Casting Director thanks Auditionee #327 and yells ‘NEXT’ before they’re even out the door.

I was given a mobile phone as a prop. All I had to do was pretend text (mumbling to myself as I do when I’m really texting) and when the Casting Director clicked her fingers I had to look up at an assistant holding a tennis ball attached to a stick which was the “car”. I watched the “car” as the assistant “drove” it behind the camera – and I finished the scene with some more improvised texting. Reckon the cheque’s in the mail.

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