6/16/2005
 
Believe it or not, I am currently employed as an E-marketing Specialist for a web solutions company in W1.

Some search for specialism, and others have it thrust upon them. About two years ago I started work as a copywriter for a fledgling online marketing company. It was a dull job for the most part, but it paid for my tap classes, and you know how much I love to tap.

I picked up a few things here and there; not html, or Photoshop or anything useful, but I learnt how to optimize websites for search engines to within an inch of their lives. When I left the company 16 months later to head to New Zealand, the company had just won some international award thingumy which everyone was quite excited about. When I returned to London, gripping a CV which I hoped would still have relevance; I was very surprised that the mere mention of my previous employer’s name was enough to get me an interview. I was suddenly hot property. I swaggered. I demanded top rates (well more than the minimum wage I recieved as a copywriter). And I was more than a little bemused when I got them.

Now, technically I’m not qualified for this role. I don’t have a degree in e-marketing or a sound knowledge of, well, much. But I am a fast talker and quite a fast thinker and I like the web, and there’s actually a market out there for specialists who don’t all speak in jargon and scare you with their knowledge every time they open their mouth. I am a lay-man’s specialist. I’ll get the job done, and then some, but I’ll have to do a lot of pointing at the screen while a techy guy sits next to me, possibly holding my other hand.

And believe me, I’m not alone. There are people bullshitting their way to success every single working day. It’s a revolution. I’ll never forget when my friend Lorna quickly studied up in her lunch break so she could give an important power point presentation in the afternoon - a skill Lorna had said she knew inside out during her interview.

What was that?

Ah, sorry, I’ll have to finish here I’m afraid. My boss has just asked me to ping a whatsit on the system-o-something so a bluechip client can make another zillion dollars. If only they knew…
 

Yeah, yeah, email me

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sites what I write on:
londonist

sites what I wrote on:
über: I haven't been completely honest
somewhat.org: on the up

blogs:

christopher
elizabeth

boys:

tlc
homorobotic
sex, lies & videotape
diamond geezer
vivid blurry
raw youth
secret simon
learn swedish
the rob log
why god why
a beautiful revolution

girls:

dooce
afrochic
belle de jour
pound
jems web
lindsayism

pulse:

timmy ray
link bunnies
link machine go

fantastic blogs:

a light fantastic
a chair fantastic
a rug fantastic
a kitchen fantastic
a bed fantastic
a clock fantastic

tools:

life hacker
i hate work
hi-gloss film production



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