8/12/2005
 
At ten to one my sister rings to say she will be late for our lunch. At 1pm I go and buy some food so I don’t fall over hungry. At 1.30pm I dispose of the wrappers and head back to my office. Inevitably, it’s only when I reach my desk again that my phone beeps.
Sorry am here and pretty lost where do I go
I stand up and walk back to the lift. On the way down I run over the mantra I invented twenty minutes before.
Just say I love you and I’ll miss you. I love you and I’ll miss you. Then walk away. Don’t get angry or open up a can of big brother, just say I love you and I will miss you.
She is not there when I exit the lift so I wait outside my office building. And wait.
I call her.
I’m walking through the park.
I go to meet her half way and she almost passes me without seeing.
Amber gives me back some of the money she owes me. She is flustered. Her flight tomorrow has been cancelled and she needs to organise a new one. I have to go back to work. I want to know when I will have all the money back. I wish we had more time.
It is one thing to get all David Sedaris or Gerald Durrell about your family, but most of things we say to each other don’t make great reading. My sister is going back to New Zealand. I don’t want her to go. I think she is running away. She is lost and is looking and has made her decision based on her experiences and desires. And I should be happy for her.
I love you and I’ll miss you
We hug and afterwards Amber’s face has that closed, hard expression of someone who has a mountain to climb and has only just realised the enormousness of the task ahead.
 

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