10/10/2005
 

The Monday Hangover

  1. You will never drink again
  2. You will feel sorry for yourself on the tube ride home. Yes, it is hot and crowded. You should have thought about last night, drinky boy
  3. You will go to the supermarket and suffer the crowds to get yourself something healthy for dinner - some type of raw bean and/or tofu curd salad
  4. You will not write because we don’t want our first novel to be penned by someone who is almost certainly a drunkard, they have to drink on a Sunday. The book does not deserve you. If it could, it would spit at you
  5. You will have a long shower and almost fall over twice. The shower curtain will save your life
  6. You will have an early night. You will not stay up to watch Six Feet Under or some other popular US television show. You will sleep. Sleep will forgive and restore. And you will dream sober and unchallenging dreams
 

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